Singing on an Astrology YouTube...?

Well - it started well. As you can probably see by some of my earlier YouTube work - manageable, normal little girl. Just kind of fumbling about for some words - explaining astrology - knowing stuff. Regular. Then I did this kind of stuff.

I wrote or just - channelled music - and I put it on my YouTube page. And I didn’t know what happened. But it scared people. Though it went very far into me. And for that negativity or - ah whatever - I got there. I just made it very clear that I wanted to be - further away - than closer towards.

I suppose YouTube makes you a box. And when you are - done with that box - or they feel safe enough not to have you around you have to expand. And though in fact my YouTube energy only truly lasted a few months - I couldn’t keep it going honestly - the channel stayed in a kind of chrysalis state for many years and still got me clients and attention necessary - to live a different kind of life.

I have since travelled a lot and in a way - these musical videos helped me feel what I wanted and see what I didn’t want to become.

Check out the full playlist here. I've just made it unlisted again.

I suppose the issue was that neither side wanted me. I was too crazy for he conservatives, too ugly or weird for the "friends" I've made, too nasty for some, too cool for others. Too many things actually. It didn't - die. But i held onto my work for dear life knowing that if i stepped any further outside of the binds i'd just get hate. Hate. Hate. Hate it was. Though that didn't stop me from travelling and making a more direct collective of people that didn't care about how i "was" but rather - let those preconceptions go themselves. That healed me a lot. The tribe was very small. But work kept me alive. It kept me up at night too - but I got there.